In Silent Meditation

©April 10, 2010 by Suzanne Jacobson

Not long ago, I thought I was probably going to have a migraine in the next day or so. I knew this because as I sat in a hot bath reading a chapter for a class, my vision was obstructed. At first, it was an annoyance, as it always is. How, I wondered, am I supposed to read with this rainbow line appearing in front of chunks of words? Why won’t it go away? I rubbed my eyes and continued to read, dodging around the page in an attempt to ignore the shimmering colors.

I was reading a chapter called “Telling the We Story” in the book The Art of Possibility by Zander and Zander. The piece describes a way of thinking that alleviates conflict, bringing two or more people into a relationship with one another in which the common purpose can be found. Rather than thinking in terms of what “I” want or need, the Zanders are encouraging those in conflict to consider what would be best for “Us.” Thinking singularly, write the Zanders, “encourages us to exaggerate our positions and keep back some of the truth,”[1] causing defensive and offensive behavior that can deepen the conflict. Truly thinking in terms of “We” allows a connection, giving us a “method for reclaiming ‘The Other’ as one of us.”[2]

As I read, I began to resonate with the chapter, to think of what the Zanders call “the in-between” where the connection occurs as the Holy Spirit. I was just starting to discover the direction my comments for my class posting might go when the pre-migraine rainbow really became annoying. The colorful line had encircled, expanded, becoming a circle of shimmering colors. How, I thought, am I supposed to read with this beautiful tunnel vision? Then it happened: ideas came together, possibilities tumbled into my mind and metaphors metastasized. Out of my beautiful tunnel vision emerged a new way of looking at conflict.

The Rainbow Aura

The metaphor of the rainbow aura is a way to describe the tunnel vision that keeps individuals from seeking to understand others. When we believe that our own way of thinking is the only way, we cannot imagine any reason to reach out to others who are different. Our vision is blinded by the beauty we perceive around us. We are isolated in our personal gardens of life, sure that what we plant is what we are meant to plant and positive that what we plant is exactly what everyone else will need. When we see only with eyes obscured by the beautiful tunnel vision, we simply cannot see through the beauty that we perceive in our own lives to the darkness that sometimes surrounds others. We are comfortable within our own frame of reference, and have no desire to see outside of it.

Sauron’s Eye

The rather benign isolation that begins with the beautiful tunnel vision might, if left on its own, might become something more malevolent. The longer we stay within our own circle, without consideration for what others might need or want, the darker our tunnel vision becomes. In the classic fantasy trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings, the evil entity is Sauron. By the time of the events of the trilogy, Sauron had become a dark spirit, confined to his lair in Mordor. His only way of “seeing” outside of Mordor is by way of a great, dark “eye,” which is described as ringed by fire. The film version of Sauron’s Eye is a great, black emptiness surrounded by angry red flames.

Sauron himself is alone in his dark tower, craving absolute power, looking out through his fiery eye only to seek that which will ensure his victory against all that is good in Middle Earth. What he seeks is to repossess the “One Ring,” which will bind together those who have other magical rings and bend them to his service. He is the quintessential “I,” acting only for himself, using whatever means possible to gain his selfish desire.

The Fellowship

The first book of the trilogy, The Fellowship of the Ring, brings together a band of nine who are tasked with destroying the One Ring. The small band of motley folk must travel together to protect the Ring-Bearer as he carries the ring into Mordor. He must take the ring into the very heart of evil, where the ring was created, and throw it into the fire that forged it, thus destroying it. As they travel, they undergo trials and travails together. They support one another and create bonds of friendship that will last a lifetime. Over the days of their trip, they are separated. In the end, only one continues to accompany the Ring-Bearer. The Fellowship, however, remains intact through their love and concern for one another. Even when one member is alone in the dark, they are part of the Fellowship. They are never just an “I;” they are always an “Us.”

The “Other” as “Us”

One of the most interesting aspects of the Fellowship of the Ring is that it is a gathering of different kinds of individuals. The Ring-Bearer and three others are Hobbits, a race of little folk from the Shire. Two members of the Fellowship are Men – one the privileged son of the Steward of a kingdom, the other seemingly just a rough border-protector called a Ranger. One is an Elf and another is a Dwarf – two races whose peoples are natural adversaries. The final member of the Fellowship is a Wizard – one of a long-lived race who have been both respected and feared for their wisdom and power. It is an unlikely gathering of people who might consider one another as “the Other.” However, as they build trust and loyalty, they no longer see the boundaries between them. Throughout their travels, they meet other beings, some of whom are trustworthy and some who are not. As their awareness of the world expands, so does their ability to see beyond their own “tunnel vision.”

Home in the Shire

Conflict occurs when individuals can’t get beyond their own vision. There is a fear of stepping outside of the comfort zone and entertaining the possibility that another might have something of value to share. When the peace-loving Hobbits left their comfortable homes under the hills of the Shire, their vision of the world was somewhat like the beautiful tunnel vision. All they knew of the world was their small garden-country and the safe haven they took for granted. All of that changed when they risked everything they knew in order to seek the common good.

When the nine who were to become the Fellowship met around the table to discuss the problem of the Ring, each came with his own ideas about the right thing to do. Those who began to think they might be able to wield the Ring individually found themselves looking into the darkness of the fiery Eye. Those who dedicated themselves to working together discovered the gifts of cooperation, compassion and companionship. When it was all over, everyone went home to their own countries, but their Friendship would go on forever.

Metaphors

One thing I know about migraines – they are debilitating and isolating. They may begin with the rainbow aura, and within hours or days become a sickening headache. In essence, a migraine can force a person to turn one’s attention inward, for they are unable to think of anything but the pain and illness. Basically, the victim of a migraine can think of nothing but themselves. At the very worst part of the migraine, there is no longer a rainbow aura. They are lost in the darkness of the fiery eye. The migraine, then, becomes a metaphor for the isolation of self-centeredness and selfishness.

I never got a migraine that day. I recognized the symptom, took appropriate medication and drank lots of water. I went out into the world and focused on being an active member of society. This time, I was able to alleviate the isolation of the migraine. The metaphors of the rainbow aura and the migraine will only go so far. However, with some contrivance, I could compare the interplay of medication, hydration and human interaction as “teamwork.” Like the Fellowship that destroyed the evil Ring, my little “team” destroyed the evil thing that could negatively control my world and keep me trapped in the dark, surrounded by fire.

Could my thought process be any more convoluted?